I’m always watching you; I’m like Santa Claus but way more selfish.
Joshua Ortman, when I asked him how he knew what I was doing.
Another great way to show someone that you care is to make them a list of recommended New Year’s resolutions.
Tom Strasz, an old improv friend of mine
The greatest trick Santa ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
Tom Strasz, an old improv friend of mine
I'm a full-time employee at a Michigan non-profit, and a part-time actor. I'd like to one day be on a sitcom less crappy than "According to Jim".
